


That’s Okay

by Practicemakesperfect



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Baby Oh Sehun, F/M, Family, Internalized Homophobia, Kyungsoo is a dad, M/M, Slow Burn, baeksoo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-01-22 07:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21297770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Practicemakesperfect/pseuds/Practicemakesperfect
Summary: Doh Kyungsoo is a 28-year-old failure. Employed as a package handler without a college degree and living as a single parent taking care of the one good thing in his life, Kyungsoo has a million regrets he’s managed to bury with time. But fate has other things planned for him, and when he meets successful musician Byun Baekhyun again for the first time in ten years, he begins to realize that some regrets never disappear, and that sometimes all you can do to make up for them is to face your fears and be yourself.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O
Comments: 71
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

“Make sure he goes to sleep early. He has school tomorrow. I’d say put him to bed sometime around ten. Dinner’s in the fridge; heat it up whenever, but make sure it’s not too hot because he doesn’t like to wait for his food to cool down and he tends to burn his tongue on hot food.” Kyungsoo pauses, looking to where Sehun sits on the couch drawing. “Did I forget anything?”

“No,” Sehun pipes up, and Junmyeon laughs.

“Stop worrying so much. I promise we’ll be fine.” He begins to push Kyungsoo to the door, opening it for him. “Hurry and go. You’re going to be late, and I know you hate rushing.”

Kyungsoo lets Junmyeon lead him outside before pausing to turn around. “Thanks, hyung.”

“Don’t mention it. Just have fun, okay?”

“Alright.” Kyungsoo tries not to make it obvious how stressed he is and smiles instead. But once he’s alone he can feel it, that anxiety creeping in. He isn’t sure why he decided to go to the reunion. It was the ten year reunion they had planned way back when for the choir kids, some stupid promise made before they realized they would all have separate lives to lead afterwards. Back then, choir _was_ their lives; nothing else had mattered. Not to Kyungsoo, anyway.

It’s funny, the things we regret when we get older. He should have focused on his studies. He shouldn’t have wasted so much time on a hobby that would amount to nothing.

Maybe that’s why Kyungsoo isn’t sure why he’s going to the reunion. It serves as a reminder of things he doesn’t want to recall.

Exhibit A: him sitting at the bar alone, or next to his old classmates but alone. He feels like he’s in high school again, not quite fitting in but still there enough to be recognized. When he’d walked in everyone seemed shocked to hear he was Doh Kyungsoo, as if he’d changed much, but eventually things settled back to the way things were before. Except, of course, that now he can drink alcohol. See? Growing up is good for something.

Kyungsoo listens to the conversation passively, noting a few familiar names while taking interest in none. He feels awkward. It’s been ten years and maybe he’d have someone to catch up with if he wasn’t so quiet.

Well, thinks Kyungsoo drily, it’s probably better this way. At least he won’t have to talk about how his life turned out, like everyone else.

“Mind if I sit here?” A voice interrupts Kyungsoo in the middle of tipping his head back for another shot. Kyungsoo shakes his head and examines the newcomer, almost chokes at the recognition.

“You’re...”

“No way. You’re Kyungsoo, right? Wow, you look so old!”

Baekhyun sits next to him and Kyungsoo can’t suppress a laugh; it’s that ridiculous. “Thank you?”

“I mean older as in hotter, so you’re very welcome.” Before Kyungsoo can react Baekhyun continues, “You used to be so tiny and adorable back then. Now you’re,” he whistles, then laughs. Kyungsoo knows he doesn’t mean anything by it, and he feels strangely charmed. “You remember me, right?”

“Byun Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says.

Baekhyun gasps exaggeratedly. “My last name, too? To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Your piano playing. It’s hard to forget.” Kyungsoo pauses to drink, and that’s when he realizes it, that he’s already feeling more at ease. “Do you still play piano?”

“I actually play professionally now.” Baekhyun grins. “I’m a singer, too.”

Oh. Kyungsoo feels that telltale twist in his gut. Envy. But he ignores it because it’s out of place and smiles. “You should come to my place and teach my son,” he says jokingly. “He’s been begging for lessons since he could talk.”

“You have a son?”

Kyungsoo curses inwardly as some of the people around them turn. It slipped out of his mouth without thought, but there it is and now he has to deal with it. “He’s six,” Kyungsoo says, and his voice changes somewhat, because he could never talk about Sehun with any feeling other than pride. “He’s been playing on this little toy piano but I bought him a keyboard a couple of weeks ago and he loves it. I’ve been meaning to get him a teacher soon.” Kyungsoo pauses, suddenly embarrassed. “I was only joking about you coming, though. I’m sure you’re busy. Writing songs, or something.”

“No, I’d love to teach your son.” Baekhyun pours himself a shot and throws his head back to take it in one go. Then he lifts himself up to grab his phone from his back pocket before handing it over. “Give me your number and we can figure out a schedule.”

Kyungsoo types in his number and hands the phone back, watching Baekhyun pour another drink. “You really like drinking,” Kyungsoo says. Baekhyun doesn’t respond, only smiles with his eyes shining some sort of humor as he takes the next shot.

Their conversation flows smoothly from one topic to the next. Baekhyun’s music, how he’s somehow single (Kyungsoo is surprised; Baekhyun was popular with the girls in their school back then and, seeing as his looks have hardly changed, shouldn’t have a problem finding a girlfriend now, either,) and then it shifts uncomfortably to Kyungsoo, who manages to avoid talking about himself except to get carried away about Sehun, and how he’s just started Kindergarten.

As boring as he probably is, Baekhyun to his credit keeps up with interest, asking questions and effectively failing to stop Kyungsoo’s parental bragging. He doesn’t realize he’s gone on for far too long until people start packing up to leave.

“Oh, wow. I’m sorry, I talked way too much.” Kyungsoo feels his cheeks are warm and decides he’s had a little more to drink than he should have. Baekhyun smiles at him.

“I liked hearing it. You never really said much back then so this is a nice change. I can see how much you care about your son... it’s cute.” Baekhyun clears his throat when his phone buzzes. “I’m going to have to head out, though.” The remorse in his voice is genuine. “My ride is here.”

“It’s good that you aren’t driving.”

“What do you mean? It’s not like I’m drunk.” Baekhyun grins and gets up stumbling a bit.

“I’ll help you,” Kyungsoo offers, and he holds Baekhyun’s arm, the two of them going to the front where Baekhyun’s ride is. The man that steps out to help him guide Baekhyun in is tall, very tall, and he introduces himself as Chanyeol, Baekhyun’s friend for however many years.

“Are you Kyungsoo?” He asks, and then he mutters, “God, why did he drink so much, he knows he can’t handle alcohol.”

“How do you know my name?” Kyungsoo realizes he maybe sounds rude, but Chanyeol doesn’t react.

“Baekhyun told me about you. Anyway, I’m guessing he didn’t talk about me.”

“No,” Kyungsoo says.

“Figures. I’m his boyfriend.” Kyungsoo blinks, and there’s a pause as Chanyeol closes the passenger door. “I’m kidding,” he says. “Don’t worry. Baekhyun is perfectly single and ready to mingle.”

“I’m not worried,” Kyungsoo says. 

Chanyeol nods. “Yeah, Baekhyun’s right. You are cute. It’s a shame that you’re straight.” Chanyeol opens the door to the driver’s side. “Well anyway, it was nice to meet you. Thanks for helping Baekhyun back.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say, so he just says “you’re welcome” and watches Chanyeol drive away. Was that guy flirting with him? He thinks about it for a moment before he stops caring. It doesn’t matter, really. Kyungsoo shrugs it off and crosses the street to get to his car.

He’s on his way home when he realizes that, at the reunion, he talked to no one else aside from Baekhyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And.... we’re back! I really missed writing Baeksoo stories, and I’m loving the direction this one is going in so far. I’m excited >.< 
> 
> Thanks for being so patient guys <33 I love you all ❤️❤️❤️ Until the next update!


	2. Chapter 2

Kyungsoo already knows what his parents think of him. He’s had to rely on them for a while now, and although he hates it he can’t avoid it. Junmyeon coming over to take care of Sehun is a rarity, what with Junmyeon being so busy all the time, and since Sehun was born Kyungsoo has had to beg his mother to come over and help him. Pride is in no way more important than his son. His saving grace has to be the fact that his mother loves Sehun, and it’s that that makes things a little more bearable between the two of them.

“You’ll be back at six?” His mother asks. He can see her pursing her lips at the state of the house, but he ignores it. He’s seen that look so many times now it hardly matters to him anymore.

“Yes. My schedule hasn’t changed, mom.”

“I’m just making sure,” she snaps back. “Honestly, you should just bring Sehun to our house and let him stay there.”

Ignore it. He knows why she’s saying it: his house isn’t the nicest, but it’s what he can afford. Kyungsoo doesn’t react to her jab and instead thanks her in advance for picking up Sehun later. And then he heads out for work.

Moving packages and preparing them for delivery is pathetic, Kyungsoo can admit that. But it pays the bills, and Kyungsoo doesn’t have any other options. He’s always chosen the 9-6 shift so that he can drop Sehun off at school and spend time with him after work. Sometimes he wonders what Sehun thinks. If he wishes he could just go with his grandmother too, if he’d rather be there than in their sad excuse for a home. Maybe he’d rather that. But Kyungsoo has never asked. He’s always been too afraid to.

When he gets back he’s exhausted. He opens the door and sees Sehun at the dining table with his mother, doing homework. At his appearance Sehun brightens, running over to hug him.

“Sehunnie,” Kyungsoo coos before he can help himself. He smooths his hand over the top of his head and then lets him go, watching him run back to his mom and his homework. “How was school?”

“Good.”

“That’s good.” Kyungsoo’s mother gets up from the chair and says her greetings to Sehun. “Thank you again,” Kyungsoo tells her as she’s leaving. He locks the door behind her and goes to chat with Sehun about his day. He’s helping Sehun with his homework when he gets a text.

_hey hey hey_   
_guess who_

Oh. Kyungsoo forgot about the offer. He puts down his phone for a moment. “Sehun, do you still want a piano teacher?”

“Could I?” The look on his face has Kyungsoo in pieces. God, he’s so whipped.

“Of course you could,” Kyungsoo says. “We just have to make sure everything works out with our schedules. We’ll see, okay?”

Sehun goes back to drawing and Kyungsoo returns to his phone.

Me: Baekhyun?  
Baekhyun: ding ding!! glad I got the right number.  
Baekhyun: are you still considering lessons?  
Me: Yes. Are you available after six, or would that be too late?  
Baekhyun: that would be perfect.

They set up a schedule and, after Baekhyun’s insistence (“I’m just excited to meet your son!”) they settle to host lessons for free. It doesn’t quite hit Kyungsoo that he’ll be coming over until the day before Sehun’s first lesson, when Baekhyun asks him what his address is. It’s then that Kyungsoo looks at the state of his house and goes into a frenzy trying to clean up, getting rid of things that never worked or were functional but messed up. Even though his house is cheap looking, he refuses to let it be any worse than it already is.

He’s strangely nervous when it’s time for Baekhyun to come. He makes sure to neaten his appearance and take a shower although he did schedule lessons for the one day he doesn’t have work. He makes Sehun change too, much to his annoyance. They’re ready and waiting for Baekhyun thirty minutes early, and Kyungsoo sits at the couch reading. And rereading. And maybe not paying all that much attention to the book because he’s stuck with his nerves.

Baekhyun arrives fifteen minutes earlier than they’d planned, apologizing for coming so early. Kyungsoo tells him it’s no problem.

“Sehun, this is...” he pauses, suddenly unsure of how to refer to him.

“I’m Baekhyun,” Baekhyun says, smiling. “Nice to meet you, Sehun. I heard you like playing the piano.”

Sehun nods shyly, and Kyungsoo gives Baekhyun free reign to do as he pleases, going into the kitchen to fix dinner. From the open door he can hear the sounds of the two talking and the occasional laughter, and then he hears the first note of the day. It feels lively all of a sudden; he feels like things are brighter just from the addition of a new person in the house. 

Kyungsoo finishes cooking and sets the table before leaning against the door to watch the last few minutes of the lesson. It seems to be just about over. Baekhyun is talking to Sehun and the keyboard is off. Sehun is on a rant about his classmates, voice enthusiastic in a way that kid’s voices are, and Baekhyun is nodding adamantly, inserting the occasional surprised comment. Kyungsoo doesn’t realize he’s smiling until he’s not anymore, when Baekhyun asks him about home and about his mother.

“Daddy doesn’t like to talk about my mommy,” Sehun says, and Kyungsoo pushes himself from the door and pushes a smile onto his face, interrupting them. Baekhyun looks up from Sehun and stands.

“Thank you for having me,” he says, reaching a hand out to shake Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo leaves him hanging.

“You should stay for dinner.”

“Oh.” The response makes Kyungsoo feel something he can’t put a finger on, maybe disappointment or maybe embarrassment, but then Baekhyun says with a hopeful expression, “can I?” and Kyungsoo feels relieved.

“Of course you can. I cooked more than enough for the three of us. Sehun, go and wash your hands.”

“I need to wash mine, too. Let’s go wash our hands together.” Baekhyun and Sehun share a secret smile and they both race to the kitchen and out of sight. Kyungsoo shakes his head and laughs a bit. How could Baekhyun have gotten so comfortable with his son so fast? Maybe he just had a gift for that kind of thing, a gift for making people feel at ease. The more Kyungsoo thinks about it, the more he thinks that Baekhyun hasn’t changed since the last time he saw him. He’s still something of a mystery to Kyungsoo with his endless energy and patience. A foil to Kyungsoo’s quiet self.

Kyungsoo sits at the living room table as the other two enter. He serves the food and then they just sit and talk about nothing. It’s useless chatter, but it makes Kyungsoo feel warmer somehow. As much as he loves eating dinner with Sehun, just the two of them, he can’t deny that having Baekhyun with them is like having a gap filled up. He’s just so lively it makes Kyungsoo feel it too.

“I can’t believe you’re older than me,” Kyungsoo says, laughing as Baekhyun makes silly faces to Sehun.

“Hey! I’m very mature.”

“Hm...” Kyungsoo and Sehun share a look. He smiles when Sehun sticks out his tongue. “I don’t know about that.”

“I am! Isn’t that right, Sehun?”

Betrayal. Sehun nods and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes in spite of himself, unable to fight the grin that creeps onto his face. “You really haven’t changed,” Kyungsoo remarks. He feels weird about it immediately after, about how fond his voice sounds. Baekhyun’s eyes are shining.

“Is that a good thing?”

Is it? Kyungsoo thinks about it, but it doesn’t actually take much thought. Of course it is. “It’s a good thing,” he says. “It’s nostalgic, I guess.”

“Then thank you.” Baekhyun glances at him, then looks away. “You’ve changed a lot.”

“Daddy, you knew Baekhyun before?”

Kyungsoo can’t help but scold Sehun for calling Baekhyun so casually, even as Baekhyun insists he’d rather it. Finally he nods. “Remember when uncle Junmyeon watched you? I was meeting Mr. Baekhyun that time.”

“Oh. How come?”

“We haven’t seen each other in ten whole years,” Baekhyun says. “We used to go to high school together. Your dad used to be really popular back then.”

“Really?”

Kyungsoo is sure his expression is dubious with a mixture of amusement. “Liar,” he says quietly. Baekhyun looks at him, even though he’s still talking to Sehun.

“He didn’t know it, but a lot of people had a crush on him. He was super shy too, so people didn’t talk to him because they thought he didn’t want to talk to them either. But you wanna know what?”

“What?”

“He was such a good singer that they all wanted to be with him anyway. He was also really polite. And if you got to know him he was kind, too.” Kyungsoo knows he’s blushing, he clears his throat and takes a long sip of water to avoid eye contact. Luckily, Sehun picks up the slack and jumps in to relate it to a classmate he knows, Jongin, who’s shy and quiet too, and Kyungsoo sighs with relief. 

They talk more until finally the conversation lulls and Kyungsoo can’t keep Baekhyun any longer. He stands and breaks the spell, telling Sehun to clear the table while he sees Baekhyun out. Baekhyun goes to the door and Kyungsoo tells him to wait, running over to his room to grab his wallet before coming back and taking Baekhyun’s hand.

“I can’t take this,” says Baekhyun, looking at the crumpled bills in his palm. He pushes it back to Kyungsoo, who refuses to take it. “I don’t need it. I don’t want it, either.”

“I know you don’t need it.” Of course he knows. “But just take it. For me, please. I can’t just have you teach my son for free. That’s not fair.”

“You paid me already. You fed me dinner.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“It does for me, believe me. You’re a really good cook. And I had fun. It feels wrong to take your money.”

Kyungsoo searches his eyes, sees that Baekhyun really won’t take it. Finally, he cracks a bit. “Please just take it.” He’s begging. It isn’t desperate begging, but it’s still bad. “For me.”

There’s a moment’s pause before Baekhyun sighs. “Okay. I’ll take it this time.”

This time. It’s a promise for more struggle later on, but Kyungsoo will accept it for now. “Thank you.”

“Thank _you_,” Baekhyun says. “Sehun’s awesome. I’m really glad I got to meet him. And it was really nice to talk to you again. I missed you.” And then he laughs sheepishly. “Was that weird? Sorry if it was.”

It feels strange to see Baekhyun embarrassed. Kyungsoo shakes his head. “It’s not weird. I missed you, too.”

It’s the truth. Kyungsoo realizes it as he says it, that maybe it was always a passive sort of missing that manifests only when you think about it. It’s been years since Kyungsoo thought about Baekhyun. But somehow none of that matters. The missing is so real now it’s almost as if he’s felt it since they’d parted ways all those years ago. It’s so strong that he feels the ache even though Baekhyun is right in front of him. It makes no sense. Kyungsoo can’t understand it.

Baekhyun smiles and Kyungsoo thinks to himself that maybe it’s okay not to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH HI GUYS!!!! I missed all of your comments <333
> 
> Yayyyyy we’re back again with another chapter! It feels super weird to write a slow burn only because every chapter is slow character building and like
> 
> I am a person who only likes writing the climax to stories but for some reason I like this one.
> 
> Requesting feedback! I’m experimenting with my writing style and comma splices lol which are annoying to me in real life but I’ve found I like in fan fiction writing for some reason? Anyway is this style working for you guys or is it getting old real fast? Lemme know okay I love you guys ❤️❤️❤️


	3. Chapter 3

_The lights fall down on him blindingly. He can hear things, the distant memory of people, voices, his song. In front of him is a microphone. It takes him a while to realize where he is. He’s on a stage, and people are waiting to hear his music._

_It’s such a warm feeling._

_He takes a deep breath and sings._

\--

“Daddy, wake up. We’re going to be late for school!” Kyungsoo jolts out of his dream to Sehun poking him on the cheek. Reality. There is only a moment of disappointment that disappears when his eyes focus on Sehun’s face, and then Kyungsoo thinks it isn’t too bad, grabbing Sehun and rolling them over into a wrestling match. Sehun giggles and squeals as he tries to fight his way out of his father’s grasp, and eventually they settle into cuddling, curled up in the blankets in an effort to fight the cold. It’s early November now, with the cool air just beginning to settle in, and Kyungsoo makes sure that when Sehun goes to school he has his jacket with him. After he sees him off, Kyungsoo heads to work. There he allows himself to think for a moment about his dream.

It’s been a long time since he’s dreamt of singing. Kyungsoo doesn’t know why it’s suddenly resurfaced; it’s so out of the blue. He hasn’t even thought about singing since Sehun was born, and even then it was a thought he’d buried beneath the others in an effort to stay sane. When he was younger, all he’d wanted to be was a singer. Now, all he wants is to be good enough for Sehun, and hopefully make his life better than his own.

The first step, Kyungsoo has decided, is to continue giving him piano lessons.

Baekhyun: thanks for dinner last night  
Me: It’s nothing. Thank you for teaching Sehun. It means a lot.  
Baekhyun: of course  
Baekhyun: next week same day?  
Me: Sounds good.

Somehow, Baekhyun manages to text Kyungsoo everyday until then. Kyungsoo isn’t even sure what he’s going on about half the time, but he humors him anyway because he’s decidedly more interesting than his own thoughts. 

Me: Do you want to stay for dinner again?  
Baekhyun: ye  
Me: “Ye?”  
Baekhyun: yes. sir.

Kyungsoo smiles at this and puts his phone away to get ready. Sehun is already changed and playing on the piano. He already looks like a pianist to Kyungsoo, perfect posture and positioning, but maybe that’s just him seeing Sehun through the eyes of a father. He can’t help it; he’s naturally inclined to be proud of anything Sehun does, no matter what it is. 

He leaves the front door open and joins Sehun where he sits on the piano bench. “What’s this note?” He asks, putting a finger on a key. He knows the answer already, it’s the basics, but he looks at Sehun as if he doesn’t know.

“It’s C. And then this is D. And then E and F and...” Kyungsoo nods all the way through Sehun naming the notes, laughing a little when he stumbles on the switch from G back to A, and then he plays Mary Had a Little Lamb by ear and Sehun’s expression is priceless. “You can play piano?”

“No, this is just—“

“Anyone can play piano!” Kyungsoo jumps and looks to the door, where Baekhyun is standing amused, taking off his coat. “That was beautiful,” he says. “May I play with you?”

“Oh. No, I can’t...”

“It’s not about if you can. Anyone can. It’s about if you will.” Sehun scoots over and Baekhyun squeezes himself between them, positions his fingers on the piano. “Play the song again.”

Hesitantly, Kyungsoo presses down the keys. For a moment it’s just him feeling out the melody, shyly creating the tune, and then Baekhyun joins in and it’s like an entire world has opened up. It’s just a cute, stupid little song, but Baekhyun’s accompaniment brings in layers and layers of music that makes everything sound more alive. Kyungsoo finds himself stumbling over notes, distracted as he watches Baekhyun’s fingers dance over the keyboard, and then he’s laughing because of how bad he is and how flawless Baekhyun is. He’s amazed by his ability to just create on the fly. He doesn’t hesitate like Kyungsoo does; he’s so confident in his abilities that all he’s focused on is making music. 

By the end of it Kyungsoo is an embarrassingly smiley mess and Sehun is clapping with a look of wonder in his eyes, mouth agape.

“That was so cool!” Sehun gushes. Baekhyun grins. He meets Kyungsoo’s eyes and nudges him with his shoulder.

“See? Anyone can make music.”

“If they have you, sure.”

“It’s lucky that I’m here, then.” There’s a shift in his voice as he says it. Kyungsoo isn’t sure why it’s suddenly hard to tear his eyes from Baekhyun’s, but there they are looking at each other, and then Baekhyun’s grin drops a fraction and his eyes flit downward for a moment. It’s then that Kyungsoo swallows and stands.

“I’m going to start cooking dinner,” he says.

“Okay,” Baekhyun answers after a beat, gaze lingering on his expression before Kyungsoo turns and leaves for the kitchen.

He feels all sorts of flustered, suddenly. It takes him three rounds around the kitchen to remember what he’d planned to cook, and when he finally figures it out the nerves are all too apparent. Why is he even nervous? It’s not like… well, okay, they _haven’t_ seen each other in ten years. This is only their second meeting. It’s natural for him to feel awkward.

Except he doesn’t feel awkward. Except he feels like they’re just picking up where they left off, but with Kyungsoo even more stupid and embarassingly shy than he remembers himself being with Baekhyun all those years before. 

He doesn’t question why. Forget it. Kyungsoo dismisses his thoughts as not worth it, instead turning his attention to dinner. Cooking is one of the few things Kyungsoo can say he’s good at. Maybe not good enough to be a chef or anything, but good enough to confidently put food in front of anyone and make them like it. It had been a hobby of his back before he had dreams of becoming a singer, back when he actually had a good enough relationship with his mother to learn how to cook from her.

He had learned a lot from his mother. But recipes that used to be comfort food tastes different, now. Over the years he’s grown out of them, crafted his own versions of meals that he likes better. 

Yes, he can say that he’s good at cooking. He laughs to himself, and somehow manages to keep it from being bitter. What else is he good at? Kyungsoo shakes his head and finishes stirring the sauce into the noodles, leaving the question to float around his head unanswered. Then he plates the food and moves it to the table, calling Sehun and Baekhyun for dinner.

“Good job,” Kyungsoo says when he sees Sehun at the sink with Baekhyun, washing his hands. He ruffles his hair. “How was it today?”

“We learned a song!”

“Oh, you did? What song?”

“Twinkle twinkle little star,” Baekhyun sings, and Kyungsoo can’t help but think about how pretty his voice is.

“I forgot how your voice sounded like,” says Kyungsoo, and before Baekhyun can say anything he says to Sehun, “you need to show me how it goes sometime.”

“After dinner I can. It’s easy.”

“Really?” The amusement in his voice does nothing to his son’s enthusiasm; if anything, it makes him even more proud. “You must be a master, then.”

“He is a master.”

“Well then, master Sehun. I’m looking forward to my lesson.” 

“I’m not a master!” Sehun protests, reddening. He hurries to the table with the other two in tow. “Spaghetti…!”

“Ooh, it looks good.”

“That’s because it is good.”

Baekhyun whistles, grinning. “Wow, Sehun. Your dad is actually admitting that he’s good at something? Is it a holiday? What alternate universe are we in?”

Kyungsoo has to forcibly keep himself from saying shut up like he would to a close friend; it’s that bad. He settles instead to scoff loudly before picking up his fork, taking a bite to cover the smile inching its way onto his face. Yep, it’s decided. He’s way too comfortable already. But he can’t deny that he likes it, likes the way that Baekhyun is so cheery and bright. He’s glad he stayed for dinner. And, after it’s over, he notices that he’s sad to see him go, too.

“I’m not taking your money this time,” Baekhyun tells him.

“You’re really going to make this difficult?”

“I think it’s you making it difficult.” Baekhyun tilts his head. It’s strange how his demeanor changes when Sehun isn’t around; now he’s older, more mature, someone Kyungsoo feels inclined to listen to. “I know you’ve got that pride thing going on, but I genuinely just like coming over. You don’t pay people to be your friend, right?”

“That’s…” Kyungsoo stumbles a bit on his words. “That’s different.You’re teaching Sehun.”

“Then how about this: I teach Sehun, and in exchange you let me join you guys for dinner after every lesson.”

Wasn’t that the plan, anyway? But Kyungsoo doesn’t say this. Instead he says, “I told you that doesn’t count.”

“It counts for me. I like eating Kyungsoo’s food. Especially Kyungsoo’s food that he’s proud of.”

The way he phrased it makes Kyungsoo flush.

“I promise I really don’t want your money. It feels like… I don’t know. I just don’t want it. I just want to spend more time with Sehun and you. I know it’s weird but it’s been such a long time and now I’m seeing you and you have a kid and… and I’m rambling.” Baekhyun laughs. “Basically, just catching up with you is good enough for me. And hanging out with your son. No payment needed, I swear.” He clears his throat. “That’s-thats it. Okay. Bye.”

Before Kyungsoo can say another word, he opens the door and leaves. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do other than watch him go.


	4. Chapter 4

Baekhyun: hey sorry is there any way we could do the lesson earlier this week? I have something going on sunday.  
Me: That’s fine. Is Friday okay?

Kyungsoo doesn’t think too much about it. In his mind, it all works out. He comes back from work, Baekhyun arrives, it’s the same as if it were happening on Sunday. What he doesn’t anticipate is Baekhyun coming earlier, and when he arrives home and sees Baekhyun’s car parked outside, the door to his house open, he realizes his error. His mother is there. Baekhyun is there. The two are talking as Kyungsoo enters, and Kyungsoo forces himself calm before he speaks.

“Mom,” Kyungsoo says. The two of them stop their discussion and look at him, and Sehun jumps up from where he is at the dining room table and runs to give him a hug. “Hi, Sehun.” He kisses him on the top of his head before he returns his gaze to his mother. 

“I get it, I’m leaving,” she says. 

“...you’re welcome to stay for dinner if you want.” He wonders if it’s obvious he doesn’t mean it, but of course his mother knows either way.

“Who are you trying to impress? We both know you don’t want me to stay.” She reaches out a hand to ruffle Sehun’s hair. He’s still in Kyungsoo’s arms, and Kyungsoo bites his lip before letting Sehun go. “Bye Sehun, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye grandma.”

Kyungsoo watches her put on her shoes and walk out the door, closing it behind her. He nods at Baekhyun, unable to fight the stiffness in his expression. “I hope I didn’t make you wait long.”

“Not too long,” Baekhyun answers. “I only just got here.”

Just. Kyungsoo wonders why, then, he has the look of discomfort on his face. What had his mother managed to say in those minutes of “just getting here” that makes him look so uncomfortable? 

Kyungsoo takes off his coat and hangs it in the closet, locking the front door. Maybe he doesn’t want to know. “Sehun, are you ready for your lesson? Did you finish your homework?”

“Not yet,” Sehun answers. “Can I do it after?”

“We can do it now. I can help you.” Baekhyun slides into the chair beside Sehun’s before Kyungsoo can protest. As if reading his mind he says, “Don’t worry. I don’t mind staying a bit longer. We’ll finish this and then do our lesson. If that’s okay with you?” He looks at Kyungsoo hopefully, and Sehun does his signature pursed lips look. It’s impossible for Kyungsoo not to cave. He sighs and joins them at the table, and together they work through Sehun’s assignments.

“Wow, you’re already learning how to add?” It’s simple math, 2+2 and the like, but Kyungsoo can see why he might be surprised. It’s been years since they’ve been where Sehun is. Kyungsoo can hardly remember what he had to do for homework when he was in Kindergarten, and it makes him think about all sorts of things, like the experiences he’s had but forgotten, and the experiences Sehun hasn’t yet had but will. It’s all so strange to imagine, that one day Sehun will be Kyungsoo’s age, that once upon a time he was Sehun’s... It’s strange to imagine that once upon a time he was like Sehun. All dreams and aspirations. It’s nostalgic, bittersweet. He misses that time and Sehun reminds him of it everyday. To be a kid again; Kyungsoo would give up so much for that.

Of course, it wouldn’t last. Even if he were to restart a million times it wouldn’t last. Kyungsoo knows Sehun has to grow up eventually. But Kyungsoo hopes he grows up differently. Happier. More successful. Fulfilled. Maybe even still holding onto his dreams, still chasing them or, by Kyungsoo’s age, achieving them.

He hopes he’s happy, is what Kyungsoo thinks as he watches Sehun write in the numbers with careful penmanship. It’s too cheesy of a thought to have but it’s true. Isn’t that what all parents hope, in the end? That their child is happy?

“Watcha thinking about?” Baekhyun asks suddenly, pulling Kyungsoo from his thoughts.

“Hm?”

“You were staring off into space. What were you thinking about?”

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo says. Baekhyun accepts the answer and returns his attention to Sehun’s homework, but suddenly Kyungsoo is unsatisfied. “I guess I’m just thinking about life.”

Baekhyun’s smile makes Kyungsoo think that he had been expecting him to cave and say more. It makes him feel like he’s lost a battle of wills for some reason, but he can’t be bothered while Baekhyun looks at him like this. “What about life?”

“Just...” He hesitates, and now he has Sehun looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer he probably won’t even understand. Kyungsoo’s expression softens. “You remind me of so much,” he tells Sehun. “You remind me of me when I was younger. And of how it felt to know that I could be anything I wanted to be. You know you can be anything you want to be too, right?”

“I know,” Sehun says. “You say that all the time, daddy.” 

“I know I do. It’s because it’s important. You’re the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I...”

“You’re the greatest thing for me.” It’s so simple. Such a simple answer, and yet Kyungsoo feels his heart swell. 

“I don’t want to be the greatest thing for you. I want you to have greater things.”

“I don’t think you’re any small gift,” Baekhyun says quietly. Kyungsoo had almost forgotten he was there. 

“Well,” says Kyungsoo. That’s it. He can feel the warmth in his ears and cheeks, and just the fact that he’s showing his embarrassment makes it even more embarrassing. 

“I’m done,” says Sehun suddenly, saving Kyungsoo from himself. They clean up Sehun’s things together. After, Sehun and Baekhyun go to the living room for the lesson and Kyungsoo goes to prepare dinner.

The night goes smoothly and ends later as expected, what with Sehun’s homework needing completion, yet Kyungsoo feels like barely any time at all has passed. He stands holding the door to see Baekhyun out and nearly hits him in the face with it, not expecting him to turn around abruptly and stop it as its moving shut.

“Would you—“ Baekhyun starts talking, then he pauses and starts again. “You know how I said I was busy on Sunday?”

Kyungsoo blinks. “Yeah?”

“It’s because I’m having a concert that day.”

“That’s cool. Congratulations.” Kyungsoo isn’t sure why Baekhyun is telling him this. 

“It’s actually not a big venue,” Baekhyun blabbers. “It’s maybe, like, fifty people? It’s supposed to be really small so I can connect with the fans. I’m singing a couple of songs and Chanyeol’s gonna be there... anyway, that’s not the point. I was wondering if, well, I know it’s kind of late notice but—“

“Just spit it out, Baekhyun.”

“Do you want to come watch?” Baekhyun bites his lip, his expression hopeful. “It’s not long. It’s just thirty minutes. I mean, if you’re busy don’t worry about it. Sehun can come too. I bought you guys tickets.”

“You bought tickets to your own show?”

“I wasn’t sure if they would let me invite you guys for free so...”

“You’re—“ Kyungsoo shakes his head. “You’re really something else, Baekhyun.”

“So will you come? I meant to ask you earlier but I kept chickening out.”

He looks so hopeful, Kyungsoo would be an asshole to say no. Not that he wants to decline. But anyway... “Of course we’ll come. I’d love to see you perform. I’m sure Sehun will be excited, too.”

“Great!” Baekhyun beams, quickly enveloping Kyungsoo in a hug that catches him off guard. He steps back before Kyungsoo can react and pulls out the tickets. “I’ll text you all the details when I get home. Make sure you’re free after too, okay? I want to find you after the show”

Kyungsoo tells him he’s free all day and Baekhyun looks relieved. They exchange farewells. And then Kyungsoo is closing the door again, turning to tell Sehun about the concert.


	5. Chapter 5

Kyungsoo isn’t sure what to wear, so he settles on a simple sweater and jeans. It’s passable in public probably, but then Kyungsoo has never been aware of what’s fashionable and what’s not. Not that it matters. It’s just a concert. There’s no one for him to impress, anyway.

Still, that doesn’t stop him from trying to neaten his hair, combing the long strands away from his face before giving up, tousling it and deciding it looks whatever. He really should cut it; it’s getting long enough for him to consider it a nuisance.

“Are you ready, Sehun?” Kyungsoo calls, frowning one last time in front of the mirror before turning away and grabbing his coat. He readjusts his glasses like it’ll make them look any better on him, but really he knows there’s no saving his face from his frames. The perks of being unable to wear contacts. Cue sigh.

It’s these thoughts that catch Kyungsoo off guard. He notes them as he and Sehun step out of the house and get in the car. It’s annoying, how he’s suddenly concerned about how he looks. It hasn’t been _that_ long since he’s gone out for something other than work. It’s not like it’s been... six... years...

...okay, fine. So it’s been some time. Still, Kyungsoo has never been one to obsess over his hair and—great, there he goes again swiping it to one side like it’ll make a difference. Kyungsoo sighs and taps his fingers on the steering wheel, glancing at the rear view mirror to where he can see Sehun’s reflection. He’s in the car seat humming to himself quietly, staring out the window at some decidedly interesting thing that disappears once the light turns green and Kyungsoo starts driving again. Kyungsoo looks to the road. “Are you excited for the concert?”

“Yeah.” There’s a pause, and Kyungsoo waits for Sehun to say more. When he doesn’t Kyungsoo breaks the silence again.

“Mr. Baekhyun is really nice to have invited us to watch. Make sure you say thank you when you see him, okay?”

“Okay. Daddy, is Mr. Baekhyun staying for dinner today?”

“I don’t think so,” Kyungsoo says. He turns into the parking lot. “He’s a pretty busy person. I’m sure he has somewhere he’ll need to go after the concert. But we’ll see him for a bit when it’s done so you can tell him thank you then, sounds good?”

“Are we here?” Kyungsoo smiles at the sudden burst of excitement in Sehun’s voice. 

“We are. Do you need help with your seatbelt?”

“No.” Kyungsoo steps out and opens the door for Sehun, who jumps out and looks at the building with confused eyes.

“Is this where the concert is?”

“Yep. It’s a small crowd so it’s supposed to be smaller.” To make sure it’s the right place, Kyungsoo checks the tickets. The Universe Cafe. Yep, this is it. Kyungsoo takes Sehun’s hand and they cross the parking lot to the door, showing their tickets. And then they’re in the middle of a crowd, waiting for the show to start.

Kyungsoo hears people start cheering and knows it’s because they see him. He picks Sehun up and they look to the stage together, watching the musicians come on stage. A bassist, drummer, guitarist, pianist... Kyungsoo recognizes the pianist as Chanyeol, the man he met who’d picked Baekhyun up from the reunion. They pick up their instruments and then the crowd gets louder and Kyungsoo sees him.

Fuck. Okay. Don’t continue that thought. Kyungsoo turns off his brain as he watches Baekhyun step out, silver hair parted to the side and subtle makeup lining his... eyeliner. Yeah, that’s what it’s called, and Kyungsoo needs to _turn it off, this isn’t—_

Baekhyun steps up to the mic, leather pants and oversized shirt and—

He catches Kyungsoo’s eyes and smiles, and Kyungsoo can’t even tell himself that he doesn’t think he looks stunning.

Baekhyun moves his hand in a small wave, and Kyungsoo misses the window to respond with a wave of his own because he’s stuck on how the light shines over Baekhyun’s face. By the time he realizes he should be waving back Baekhyun has already looked away and the music has started.

God, Kyungsoo is enraptured by his voice. Relaxed, slow, he remembers this sound, but even so it’s different now, older, more mature. The song has a dreamy kind of taste, and it suits Baekhyun perfectly.

_It won’t look perfect to you  
Just in this moment let everything  
Flow naturally to where the wind blows  
When I whisper love, I yearn for  
When your indifferent eyes  
Tell me you love me_

Each song that passes by makes Kyungsoo feel like his breath has been stolen from his lungs. This is a feeling he remembers, being so in love with a performance that reality crumbles away to just this moment, staring on at the lights that center the show. When it ends it catches him off guard; the lights are lifting and Baekhyun is waving goodbye to everyone, thanking them for coming. Someone yells asking for him to stay and he laughs. It’s endearing how he interacts with his fans, pouting because even he doesn’t want to go, but no show lasts forever, and this one has come to an end. Kyungsoo joins the audience in clapping one last time while he and his instrumentalists leave the stage. And then people are filing out, but Kyungsoo’s phone buzzes before he and Sehun can make their way to the doors.

__

Kyungsoo puts Sehun down and takes the call.

__

“Well?”

__

The instant he hears Baekhyun’s voice the edges of his lips turn upward. “You did amazing. I’m proud of you.”

__

He can hear the smile in Baekhyun’s voice; it makes something in him stir. “Really?”

__

“Really.” Kyungsoo hesitates, but he ends up saying it anyway. “I love your music. I’m really glad you invited us. Really... you’ve come a long way since the last time I saw you.”

__

Baekhyun laughs, flustered. “Stop, you’re making me blush.” He pauses. “You said you’re free after, right?”

__

“Yeah.” Kyungsoo can’t deny that he’s anticipating something; Baekhyun always seems to surprise him. “Why?”

__

“Behind the stage there’s a door. Come out back.” There’s a click and Kyungsoo blinks at his phone before holding Sehun’s hand.

__

“Where are we going?” Sehun asks.

__

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo answers truthfully, “let’s see.”

__

When they step out Baekhyun is there with his friends and he’s beaming. “Hey, Sehun! Hey, Kyungsoo!”

__

“You’re Kyungsoo?” A man Kyungsoo has never seen before examines him.

__

“Yes... nice to meet you.”

__

“Sorry, it’s just Baekhyun told us a lot about you, so we’ve been curious about what you look like for forever.” The new person speaking gives him a welcoming smile. “I’m Minseok, and the rude-sounding one is Jongdae.”

__

“Hey, I didn’t mean it!”

__

Baekhyun’s gaze is affectionate, and Kyungsoo feels a pang of... something. “Minseok owns the cafe here. Jongdae is a singer I work with from time to time...”

__

“Wow, I’m just a singer to you now?”

__

“Okay, he’s also my best friend.”

__

“Hey, what about me?” Chanyeol frowns and Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

__

“Okay, they’re all my best friends. Guys, this is Kyungsoo and his son, Sehun.”

__

“We heard about Sehun, too,” Minseok says. His voice becomes ten times softer, which Kyungsoo hadn’t even thought was possible, considering that Minseok already has the softest voice Kyungsoo has ever heard. “He’s so cute.”

__

“Say hi, Sehun.” When Sehun hides behind him, Kyungsoo says apologetically, “he’s a little shy.”

__

“That’s okay. Minseok can be pretty intimidating.”

__

Chanyeol scoffs. “In what universe?”

__

Before they can get into an argument Baekhyun interrupts. “Do you guys want to join us for dinner? It’s on me.”

__

“Really? You’re paying this time?”

__

“Shut—“ Baekhyun stops himself and glares at Chanyeol. “Be quiet, Chanyeol.”

__

Kyungsoo is hesitant.

__

“Hey, you’re always feeding me dinner. Can’t I return the favor?” Kyungsoo meets his eyes, and his refusal crumbles.

__

“Well... alright.” Baekhyun grins.

__

“Okay, then it’s a plan. They already know where we’re going but since you don’t, is it okay if I ride with you to give directions?”

__

“Yeah, okay.”

__

They wait for a little while longer (Baekhyun wants to make sure no fans see them leaving) before Baekhyun waves to his friends and they part ways. Baekhyun skips ahead as if he knows where he’s going, turning around to walk backward, practically glowing as he looks at Kyungsoo.

__

“You’re going to trip like that,” Kyungsoo scolds. His eyes move across Baekhyun’s figure, and the moment he realizes what he’s doing he blushes, releasing Sehun’s hand to pull off his coat, tossing it at Baekhyun. “Aren’t you cold?”

__

“No,” but he shivers. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes.

__

“Put it on. I can’t believe you’re wearing a short-sleeved shirt in this weather.”

__

“It’s a part of my concept,” Baekhyun whines. 

__

“What is it? ‘Freezing in the Winter’ concept?”

__

“No...” Baekhyun juts his lip out in a pout and Kyungsoo looks away to unlock the car doors.

__

“So where are we headed?”

__

“Just a restaurant my friends and I usually go to. I’ll tell you how to get there.”

__

Kyungsoo nods and pulls out of the parking lot, expecting the drive to be simple. Instead, well... Baekhyun, Kyungsoo has come to figure out, is terrible at giving directions.

__

“Are you sure you know where you’re going?”

__

“Yes. Left, here.”

__

Kyungsoo has to keep himself from cursing out loud at the late notice and finally puts his foot down (figuratively, but also literally on the break,) parking on the side of the road before pulling out his phone. When he hands it to Baekhyun to put in the address, Baekhyun looks like he’s about to start whining. 

__

“No, we’re going to get into an accident like this and I’m not convinced you know how to get there from here.”

__

“You trust a computer more than you trust me?”

__

“Yes.”

__

Baekhyun purses his lips in a way not unlike Sehun does before reluctantly typing the address into the GPS.

__

“Now you can give me the directions,” Kyungsoo says. He makes sure to ask after every turn where the next turn is, and on what road, and only has to look for himself twice, which—considering Baekhyun’s sad inability to follow directions—he considers an accomplishment. Eventually they arrive at the restaurant only ten minutes late, and find that Baekhyun’s friends have already gotten a table and were waiting for them to arrive.

__

“Let me guess,” Chanyeol says. Before he can even continue his sentence, Kyungsoo interrupts.

__

“You’re right.”

__

“I told you we shouldn’t have let Baekhyun give them directions,” Minseok says. “I should’ve just gone with them.”

__

“Hey, we made it here in one piece,” Baekhyun protests.

__

“Daddy said a bad word once,” Sehun contributes quietly.

__

“I thought I said that in my head.”

__

“Nope, it was out loud.” Baekhyun grins and they slide into the booth together. “So guys??? How was the concert?”

__

It’s impossible to keep from snorting. “Are you always like this?”

__

Baekhyun bats his eyelashes innocently. “Always like what?”

__

“Baekhyun feeds off of praise. Don’t let him fool you.” Chanyeol takes a sip of his drink, unimpressed. “I don’t know what you said when he called you earlier, but he was glowing.”

__

“I just said he did well.”

__

“See? Someone’s proud of me.” Baekhyun clings to his arm and he coughs involuntarily. “Kyungsoo’s my favorite now.”

__

“Stop being so dramatic. We all think you did a good job.”

__

“Sehun thought so, too,” Kyungsoo says. All eyes turn to his son, who sits quietly beside him.

__

“You were really cool, Mr. Baekhyun.”

__

_Now_ Baekhyun is definitely glowing. He releases Kyungsoo’s arm and starts chatting with Sehun about music, and just like that dinner has begun. They order their food and chat, mostly it’s just Kyungsoo and Sehun eating while everyone else jokes around. Kyungsoo doesn’t mind it. He likes listening. He feels like he’s taking a peek into Baekhyun’s world, blinding lights and a tight-knit group of friends. He could imagine that maybe he’s a little jealous, but mostly he’s just star struck, and it’s pretty stupid because this is Baekhyun and being star struck about Baekhyun makes zero sense at all, especially when he sees him acting stupid and pouty and cute.

__

Fine. He’s cute. Objectively cute. Kyungsoo could be straight but not blind. That’s a thing that happens. Anyway, that isn’t the point. Kyungsoo keeps going back to Baekhyun in his head, the Baekhyun who was singing on stage earlier. It’s on his mind all through dinner, and it’s there at the end, when they’re cleaning up.

__

“Do you need a ride back home?”

__

Kyungsoo misses the look Baekhyun shoots Chanyeol, and instead only hears Baekhyun answer, “That would actually be great.”

__

“Thanks Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol says. “I really didn’t wanna have to drive him.”

__

“You know you love me.”

__

“Barely.”

__

They make their way to Kyungsoo’s car and he makes Baekhyun put his address into a GPS before they go.

__

“Thanks for dinner,” Kyungsoo says. Sehun pipes up a thank you as well.

__

“It was the least I could do. I’m really glad you guys came to my concert.”

__

“I know I already said it, but you really did do well.” Kyungsoo keeps his eyes on the road ahead of him, only glancing to the side to check the GPS on his phone. “You sounded really good.”

__

“‘Good?’” Baekhyun teases.

__

“I really liked your first song.” Kyungsoo clears his throat. “It suits you.”

__

“Hm...” Baekhyun thinks about that for a moment, and then he opens his mouth and starts singing the song. Kyungsoo listens to his smooth voice, it’s softer than it was earlier, more intimate. Kyungsoo swallows. 

__

“Thanks for inviting us,” Kyungsoo says quickly. They’re nearing the address Baekhyun put in. He feels relieved. “I really enjoyed the concert. You’re really good at interacting with your fans.”

__

“Thank you for coming.” Baekhyun looks out the window. “Looks like this is my stop.”

__

Before he can step out of the car, Kyungsoo blurts out, “what are you doing the day before Thanksgiving?”

__

Baekhyun looks surprised. “Nothing?”

__

“Then—“

__

“Come eat dinner with us!” Sehun interrupts him before he can say anything, and Baekhyun looks at Kyungsoo questioningly.

__

“We celebrate Thanksgiving the day before,” Kyungsoo explains. “Normally it’s just Sehun, Junmyeon, and I, but...”

__

Baekhyun furrows his brow. “Junmyeon?”

__

“He’s a friend of mine. Anyway, you should come. If Chanyeol, Minseok, and Jongdae aren’t busy, they can come too.”

__

“Okay, I’ll ask them.” Baekhyun waves at Sehun. “Time for me to head out. Bye bye!”

__

“Bye,” Sehun echoes. Baekhyun winks at Kyungsoo before he steps out. Once Kyungsoo is sure he’s made it into his apartment safely, he pulls out of the parking lot and drives him and Sehun home.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im definitely going to bring this up again, but sorry I know Thanksgiving is an American thing bear with me I am American ahhhh it feels weird not to include such a warm holiday ok sue me


	6. Chapter 6

Kyungsoo is decidedly regretful of his decision to invite more people to their Thanksgiving dinner. For one thing, he’s never hosted more than Junmyeon, Sehun, and sometimes Yixing (Junmyeon’s coworker.) For another, he is only one person, and trying to make an entire meal for multiple people is... stressful, to say the least.

Not that he hasn’t done it before. Sehun, Junmyeon, and Yixing are multiple people. But the new additions are making him question his cooking ability. Does he _really_ know how to cook well? Every time he tastes what he’s working on something is wrong with it. Too bland, too salty, too sweet... multiple times he finds himself leaning on the kitchen table with a frown on his face, looking at the stove in distress.

He’s doing this very thing when Junmyeon walks into the kitchen, clearing his throat and startling him.

“Junmyeon.” Kyungsoo lets out a breath, relaxing again on the table. “You’re here early.”

“I texted you if you needed anything, and you didn’t answer so I decided to just come over. I thought you might be having a crisis... _are_ you having a crisis?”

“No.” Pause. Then, “...maybe.”

“Need any help? How many people are coming, anyway?”

Kyungsoo sighs and runs a hand over his face. “You, Baekhyun, Xiumin, Jongdae, but Chanyeol isn’t coming because he has something else planned...”

Junmyeon whistles. “Full party. Since when were you so popular?”

“I’m not. It’s because of Baekhyun that...” Kyungsoo stops, suddenly curses, then rushes to the stove to check on the food. Thank god—he hadn’t burned it. “Can you make some brownies? I bought a box of brownie mix. It’s in the cabinet.”

Junmyeon makes his way over and pulls the box out. “The famous chef Kyungsoo is resorting to brownie mix? What horror!”

“Hey, I had no choice.” Kyungsoo huffs. “You know I had to buy a precooked turkey, too?”

Junmyeon laughs at Kyungsoo’s expression and pats him on the back as he’s passing by to wash his hands. “You’ll live.”

The two of them work in the kitchen together, chatting, and at one point Junmyeon gets it into his head that he wants to decorate the brownie, which turns into a slight (understatement) disaster.

“Okay, I finished the stew. Are you done with the—what the—“

Junmyeon bursts out laughing, hands covered in sugar, a mess. The pan of brownies are mutilated. It’s messily covered in cheap frosting, randomly decorated with smiley faces and glitter. It looks atrocious.

“Hyung, you’re—“ Kyungsoo squeals when Junmyeon gets close, moving as if to hug him. “Stop! You’re covered in frosting—!”

“I love you, Kyungsoo-ya~”

“—don’t—!”

Baekhyun walks in on them like this, breathless from laughing and messy from the sugar. Kyungsoo is stuck in Junmyeon’s bear hug when he enters, and he turns (with Junmyeon still attached,) cheeks flushed. “Baekhyun.” He clears his throat. “Um, who let you in?”

“Sehun.”

Oh. Kyungsoo will have to talk to Sehun about letting people into the house. But then again, Baekhyun isn’t a stranger, so maybe it isn’t really a problem. Kyungsoo jabs his elbow into Junmyeon’s side, making him yelp and let go. “This is my hyung, Junmyeon. Junmyeon, this is Baekhyun.”

“Nice to meet you,” Baekhyun answers stiffly. Kyungsoo blinks at him. When they meet eyes, Baekhyun softens. “Kyungsoo’s told me about you.”

“Ah. He’s mentioned you before...” Junmyeon nods awkwardly. 

There’s a pause and then Kyungsoo scratches at the back of his head. “I’m going to get cleaned up. Hyung, do you need another shirt?”

“Yeah.”

Kyungsoo walks past Baekhyun, “Then hurry up. I still have to get Sehun’s clothes out.”

“Want me to help him get ready?” Baekhyun asks. Kyungsoo glances at him, then at the clock.

“Actually, yeah please. Sorry. Someone—“ he glares at Junmyeon “—made a mess that I have to clean up.”

“Alright...” Kyungsoo can feel Baekhyun’s eyes on them as they make their way to his room.

Junmyeon shuts the door and waits while Kyungsoo looks for a shirt for him. “Here. It’s oversized for me so it’ll probably fit you.”

Junmyeon takes it. Kyungsoo returns to the drawers to pull out another shirt.

“Baekhyun is that guy from the reunion, right?”

“Hm? Yeah. Why?”

“Is he straight?”

Kyungsoo chokes on air. He turns, holding the shirt he’d produced from his drawers. Junmyeon is pulling on the shirt he’d given him, the dirtied one beside him on the table.

“What?”

Junmyeon shrugs.

“Is he?”

“Do you have a crush on him or something? And don’t put that on the table. It’s dirty.”

“Where do I put it, then? Junmyeon picks it up and Kyungsoo pulls off his shirt to change.

“Give it to me. I’ll throw it in the wash.”

“I don’t have a crush on him. I just felt some hostile energy.”

Kyungsoo gives Junmyeon a dubious look. “Baekhyun is about as hostile as a puppy.”

“Not in general. Just, like, to me. For a second.”

“Hyung, you’re too sensitive.”

“Hey! I’m just saying.” Junmyeon watches Kyungsoo put the shirt in the half-filled hamper. “So, is he? Straight?”

“Why?”

“...doesn’t he like you?”

“No.”

Kyungsoo pushes up his glasses and picks up the hamper. Watching him, Junmyeon stops him at the door and grabs the hamper. Kyungsoo let’s him carry it.

“You know how to use our washing machine, right?”

“I can figure it out.”

“Okay.” Junmyeon and Kyungsoo split up at the end of the hallway. When Kyungsoo sees the mess in the kitchen, he sighs.

“You two took a while.” Baekhyun is behind him, holding Sehun’s hand. 

“Yeah...” Kyungsoo isn’t sure what he can say in his defense. _We were busy talking about you._

...Yep, not exactly the best thing to say.

“Oh, did you pick out Sehun’s outfit?”

“Why? Is it bad?”

“No.” Kyungsoo smiles. Baekhyun releases Sehun’s hand when he tugs away to play with his toys. “You actually have a sense of fashion.”

“Hey, you’re... getting there.”

Kyungsoo smacks Baekhyun on the side and he laughs. “Hey, I’m just in a rush because it’s almost time. Help me clean up?”

“Sure.”

They work in relative silence, Kyungsoo doing the dishes while Baekhyun wipes down the counters and table. Junmyeon comes in and starts setting up the dining room, bringing plates and utensils as well as the food to the dining room table. It’s almost perfect timing when Xiumin and Jongdae arrive; Junmyeon is placing down the last plate of food when they knock on the door and Kyungsoo lets them in.

As they’re slipping off their shoes, Kyungsoo suddenly feels a rush of anxiety. He hadn’t thought of it earlier. But they’re seeing his house for the first time, and it’s really...

“Your house is so cozy,” Minseok says. He sniffs at the air. “Woah~ did you make brownies?”

“It smells so good.”

“Minseok! Jongdae!” Baekhyun and Junmyeon come into the living room. “Come on, I’m hungry!”

“And here I thought you were excited to see us.” Jongdae sticks out his tongue. 

“Let’s eat,” Kyungsoo says. “Ah, Jongdae, Minseok, this is Junmyeon.” They exchange greetings as they make their way to the table, and then it’s all about the food. Conversation lulls into comfortable silence while everyone digs in.

“Okay, this is amazing.” Jongdae groans. “Did you cook this yourself?”

“Yeah.” Kyungsoo flushes. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Of course they’d like it. You’re an amazing cook.”

Minseok’s lips turn upward mischievously. “It’s not like Baekhyun has been gushing over your food for forever now or anything.”

“Have not.” The tips of Baekhyun’s ears are red. Kyungsoo finds it endearing.

“Well, lucky for you I haven’t gotten tired of cooking for you yet, so.”

“‘Yet?’” Kyungsoo smirks in spite of himself and shrugs. This. This is a different feeling, a full table at Thanksgiving time, everyone joking around without reservation. He’s always loved Thanksgivings with Sehun and Junmyeon, but sometimes it felt too quiet, or maybe too serious. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing... Junmyeon’s ability to be level-headed has always been one of the reasons why Kyungsoo respects him. And he cares a lot, too, which is one of the reasons why Kyungsoo feels close to him. Still, it’s nice to have a warm atmosphere like this. Never before had the house been so busy and energetic, and Kyungsoo can admit that it’s something he appreciates.

They spend dinner talking, about music and Sehun and Junmyeon’s job, laughing over Junmyeon’s disgusting excuse for a plate of brownies, and then the night is over too soon, and Kyungsoo is cleaning up for them to go. Xiumin and Jongdae pack food for home and soon it’s just Kyungsoo, Sehun, Junmyeon, and Baekhyun, the latter three stuck sitting in the living room together because Kyungsoo insisted on cleaning alone.

When he steps out of the kitchen he finds Sehun asleep on the couch and Baekhyun and Junmyeon talking in hushed tones. They stop when they see him, suspiciously trying to not look suspicious.

“Having a fun chat?” Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows.

Junmyeon and Baekhyun share a secret smile as Junmyeon stands up to go.

“Bye, hyung.” Kyungsoo accepts without fight Junmyeon’s hug at the door. “Thanks for coming early and helping out. Even though it turned out terrible.”

Junmyeon looks like he’s about to protest, but then he pauses. “You’re welcome. I’m going to get going now. By the way, I like Baekhyun. He’s cool.”

“Since when did you two get all close?”

“Since you forced us into having a conversation.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

Again with that secret smile, and Junmyeon shrugs. “Anyway, you should invite him over more. You guys seem to make each other happy.” Before Kyungsoo can ask, he continues, “Night, Soo. Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Happy Thanksgiving,” Kyungsoo echoes. He turns to look inside. “Are you not leaving, Baekhyun?”

There it is, his signature pout. “Why? You don’t want me to stay?”

Kyungsoo stutters. “If you want?”

There’s a pause. And then Baekhyun laughs quietly, sounding almost surprised, shaking his head and standing. “I’m kidding. But thank you. And thanks for inviting me and my friends.”

“Thank you for coming.”

“I have another dinner planned with my family tomorrow, but if you want I can still make it to teach Sehun. I just won’t be able to stay long.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “No, it’s fine. We have something planned, actually. Enjoy your time with your family.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun makes his way to the door, slips on his shoes. “Good night, Kyungsoo.”

“Good night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry this is so late! I was super busy today and I only had half the chapter written >.< 
> 
> Glad I could get it in time :)
> 
> See you in the next chapter <333


	7. Chapter 7

“Hi, mom.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t expect a reply more than a nod, and he isn’t disappointed. Sehun, on the other hand, receives a warm welcome, all attention and affection, and maybe Kyungsoo would say he’s jealous if he actually couldn’t give two shits.

His dad grunts a hello as a way of avoiding conversation, but Kyungsoo half-starts one anyway to ask where his brother is.

“He’s gone for work.”

Figures. Even the one thing he was looking forward to is missing.

They sit at the table, Thanksgiving meal in front of them, Sehun chatting about school while Kyungsoo smiles encouragingly, trying to say nothing so as not to draw attention to himself. He’s glad at least Sehun can enjoy himself, glad that his parents haven’t extended their judgement to him. Sehun doesn’t deserve it; Kyungsoo is the one who made the wrong decisions, and he’s the only one who should be punished for it.

Not that he wants to be.

The conversation turns inevitably to him and his life. Kyungsoo sees it coming the moment his father’s expression changes. “Kyungsoo, when are you planning on going back to college?”

Isn’t it too late? Kyungsoo wonders that every time they ask. Maybe once upon a time it wasn’t, but he’s twenty six now, uninterested in anything...

Or maybe that’s just an excuse.

He says another one. “I’m saving up money. College is expensive.”

“You’re always saving up money,” his mother says with disdain, as if it isn’t a virtue that her son isn’t throwing around money. 

Kyungsoo nods without comment, putting food into his mouth.

“If it’s about Sehun, we can keep him here while you go to college. He’ll be more comfortable, too.”

Kyungsoo stays silent. Commentary makes no difference in these sorts of situations; if anything, it makes things worse.

“You know your brother is out on another business trip.”

“I heard.”

“Don’t use that tone of voice with me.” Kyungsoo inwardly sighs and lets his eyes drag over the vegetables on the table. Hm... they could use a bit more salt. “I’m just saying that if you had just listened to us and gone to college instead of wasting your life training to become a singer you would be like your brother by now.”

Oh my god. Kyungsoo felt like laughing out loud at the absurdity. Six years, and she still says it like it’s the first time. 

When he doesn’t respond, his mother continues. “I’m just saying this for your own good. Go back to college and get a real job, and then you can focus on singing.”

“I don’t even want to sing anymore,” Kyungsoo says before he can stop himself. He can’t help it; he’s just annoyed. It’s been years, and he hasn’t pursued singing since he left. He hasn’t even shown _interest_ in pursuing singing since he left. And yet they’re talking as if he’s hung up on it, as if he’s not working his ass off at a stupid packaging company and instead is wasting time being dreamy-eyed about music.

Annoying.

“Well, what’s making you wait to go to college then?” His father asks.

“I told you. Money.”

“If you let Sehun stay with us it might be easier.”

“Why doesn’t he stay with his mother?”

Kyungsoo freezes.

“You know, what I don’t understand is why you never introduced her to us.”

“Please stop,” Kyungsoo says quietly.

“What?”

“Stop. Please.”

“Here we go again. You’re pushing us away.”

“I’m not even saying anything. I’m just asking you to stop. Can’t we eat dinner without the extra discussion?”

“It’s Thanksgiving. What, you want us to sit in silence?”

Kyungsoo doesn’t feel like arguing anymore. He just stops talking and the conversation blessedly moves back to Sehun, and then dinner is over.

Kyungsoo is helping Sehun in the car when his mother comes up. He closes the car door.

“You should consider what we said about having Sehun stay with us.”

“Okay. I’ll consider it.”

“You’re lying again.”

Kyungsoo sighs. “Fine. I’m lying. I don’t want Sehun to stay with you, mom. I want him to stay with me.”

“Have you asked him what he wants?”

Kyungsoo doesn’t have an answer to that. Or, he does. When he gets into the car he runs a hand over his face before turning around.

“Sehun...”

He looks at him questioningly from the back seat, waiting. 

“You know I only want what’s best for you, right?”

Liar. The voice is scathing in his head. Admit it. You’re selfish. If you really wanted what was best for Sehun, you’d let him go. Who would want to live in a house like yours, just the two of you? Even you have to admit that it’s lonely. Isn’t it worse for Sehun? Don’t you care about him enough to stop being so damn selfish?

But it’s hard, he thinks, and it sounds pathetic even to him. It’s so hard. He’s all Kyungsoo has. Without him, he’s...

“Do you... do you want to stay with grandma from now on?”

“Do you want me to?”

Kyungsoo pauses in surprise. Then he laughs; it hurts only a little. “Sometimes, I forget you’re only six. You’re so smart, it amazes me.” He shakes his head. “No, I don’t want you to. But I would be happy if you’re happy.”

“I want to stay with you.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo answers. He’s selfish again. He doesn’t ask if Sehun is sure.

“Are you ready to go home?”

“Yeah.” It’s quiet. Kyungsoo pulls out of the driveway, not expecting Sehun to say, “I love you, dad.”

He isn’t sure why he has to blink tears from his eyes, but there they are and now he has to deal with them. God, he doesn’t deserve Sehun, it could be a million years and he still wouldn’t deserve him, but god is he thankful that things worked out like this, god is he thankful for him.

It takes Kyungsoo a moment, but after he answers, “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a short chapter today ;(
> 
> Thank you all for your support! I’m sorry if this chapter seems boring... but I wanted to take the opportunity to give Kyungsoo the attention he deserves. Also Sehun. We love Sehun ❤️
> 
> Until the next update!  
(Thank you for your comments guys it makes me warm and fuzzy inside)


	8. Chapter 8

Kyungsoo drags himself out of bed exhausted.

It’s always like this the night after. He’d even made sure to go to sleep early, and yet he still feels tired. Outside, the sun hasn’t yet risen, and it’s bleary and cold. Kyungsoo turns on the lights. It doesn’t feel much better.

When Kyungsoo gets like this, it’s hard to do much of anything. He feels like a doll, his body dragged around to get things done. Bring Sehun to school. Go to work. Come back. Greet his mother. Put on a smile, because if anything his mood will be harder on Sehun. It’s just the two of them. If Kyungsoo isn’t happy for him, who is?

He forces himself through the week like this. Some days, he has to yell at himself in his head just to do something. Tiring. Stupid. Pathetic.

_Baekhyun: hey! this Sunday for lessons, right?_

Kyungsoo has to remind himself of Sehun before he can summon the energy to say yes.

He’s sure his mood is obvious the whole time Baekhyun is over. He’s trying, he swears, but even when he wants to it’s hard to maintain a smile. At the end of the lesson Baekhyun stops at the door, meeting his gaze.

Are you okay? Kyungsoo is expecting this question. He’s dreading it.

Instead, Baekhyun asks, “When are you putting up a Christmas tree?”

The question is so unexpected that Kyungsoo has to pause in order to digest it. “I don’t know. I have to get it from the basement and that’s a pain in the--”

Baekhyun gasps. “Don’t tell me… you guys use a fake Christmas tree??”

“Yeah…?”

“Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun reaches out and lays a hand on his shoulder. Kyungsoo blinks. “Next week, we’re going to buy a real Christmas tree and put it up.”

“That’s--”

“Nuh-uh. No excuses. We’re doing it.” Baekhyun releases his shoulder and pats his head.

“What are you doing?”

“Your hair is so fluffy. I couldn’t resist.” He pulls his hand back. “See you next week. Be excited. And…” His smile is softer, now. “Feel better, okay? That’s all. Good night.”

“Good night,” Kyungsoo answers quietly, but Baekhyun doesn’t hear him as he walks away.

~

“There’s going to be a storm.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You’re not going to be fine, you’re going to--” Kyungsoo rubs a hand over his face before sighing, realizing he’s getting too riled up. “Okay, fine. You win. Sehun, let’s go. We’re going to buy a Christmas tree.”

Kyungsoo melts a little when he sees Sehun’s expression. “You mean… a real live tree?”

Baekhyun’s expression is smug. “That’s right, Sehun. We’re going to buy a real live Christmas tree!”

Kyungsoo makes sure Sehun doesn’t see him roll his eyes. Baekhyun sticks out his tongue in response, and then they’re on their way.

A full week has passed since Baekhyun’s tree-buying proposal, and Kyungsoo hadn’t actually thought it would happen until Baekhyun showed up at the lesson fully prepared to go out and shop for a Christmas tree. Of course, today is the day Mother Nature decided to start up a snow storm, and of course, today is the day Baekhyun’s determination decided to turn up and influence him to make bad decisions.

Kyungsoo knows he isn’t free from blame, either. He isn’t exactly stopping Baekhyun… but then, Baekhyun is unfairly good at convincing people to do what he wants them to do, so it’s mostly his fault.

They peruse Christmas trees until Baekhyun finds one he’s satisfied with, patting it with a declarative, “This is a good tree.”

Sehun comes up behind him and pats Baekhyun’s side in agreement. The sight is too cute for Kyungsoo _not_ to take a picture, and he lifts his phone without warning to take one.

“Hey,” Baekhyun complains. “I wasn’t ready! What if I looked ugly in the first picture you took of me and Sehun?”

“Hm…” Kyungsoo looks at the photo. “I think you guys look cute.”

“Oh.”

“So, is this the tree we’re getting?” He doesn’t know why, but he’s suddenly feeling more energized. Maybe it’s the fresh air, or the walking around. Either way, he feels a little better, and he’s glad.

“Y-yeah, I mean, it’s up to you.”

Kyungsoo grins. “I’m not the one who wanted a real Christmas tree. You’re the expert. What do you think, Mr. Byun?”

He takes satisfaction in the way that Baekhyun blushes. “_Now_ you’re all chipper,” Baekhyun mumbles.

“Hm?”

“Let’s take this one,” he revises, and Kyungsoo nods in approval. They bring the Christmas tree home, set it up together, and Kyungsoo climbs up to the attic to get the box of ornaments and lights. It’s lively when he comes back to the living room; Baekhyun insists on turning on the radio to blast Christmas music, and Sehun and Baekhyun are busy dancing and singing while Kyungsoo opens up the decorations.

Kyungsoo has to confess that it’s feeling nicer now that they’ve got a real tree up. It smells like pine tree in the house, along with the scents of the candles Kyungsoo lit up, something gingerbread or the like, and being with the people he cares about while decorating the tree makes everything warmer.

…‘People he cares about.’ Kyungsoo hadn’t realized it, but Baekhyun’s already slipped into that category without trying. He just… makes things better, somehow. He has that kind of effect on people. That’s something that hasn’t changed from their high school years.

Once the tree is decorated, Baekhyun lifts Sehun up to place the glow-up star at the top. And then, after seeing Kyungsoo take a picture of them in the act, Baekhyun grabs his phone and shoos him into place for a photo with Sehun. 

“Say ‘cheese!’” Baekhyun beams behind the screen when Kyungsoo reluctantly poses for the camera, kneeling down to hug Sehun and smile. “Cute,” Baekhyun says, handing the phone back. 

“Daddy, can I take a picture of you and Mr. Baekhyun?”

Kyungsoo glances at Baekhyun, hesitates. Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Oh, come on.”

“Hey--!” 

He’s laughing when Sehun takes the picture because Baekhyun picks him up bridal style, and it’s hilarious how he struggles to keep him up. Kyungsoo wraps his arms around Baekhyun’s neck just in case, then holds on even tighter when Baekhyun twirls him around before setting him back on the floor.

“Phew,” Baekhyun wipes away imaginary sweat from his forehead and Sehun giggles. “I need to work out more!”

“You’re good at taking pictures,” Kyungsoo says, examining the photo. “You should be a photographer, Sehun.”

“Maybe one day,” Sehun answers seriously. Suddenly, he perks up. “Look! It’s snowing!”

As if on cue, the three of them turn to the window, where outside it’s a flurry of white. Sehun hurries to the couch to look closer, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun following closely behind.

“It’s pretty,” Kyungsoo says. They’re leaning over the couch side-by-side almost comically, faces nearly pressed to the glass.

“Yeah…”

“I should probably get going,” Baekhyun says. “Before it gets worse.”

Kyungsoo turns to give him an incredulous look. “What do you mean, ‘before it gets worse?’ It’s already worse.”

“Don’t worry,” Baekhyun says. “I’ll be fine. I’ve driven in harsher weather before.”

“You’re not driving in this storm.” Kyungsoo stops him from standing up. “Stay here.” Baekhyun’s expression of surprise makes Kyungsoo feel hot. His voice turns defensive. “Just, sleep in my room and I’ll take the couch. It’s not safe to drive now.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun says. “But I’m taking the couch.”

“...fine. Sehun, it’s late. Let’s brush our teeth and get ready for bed now.” Sehun goes ahead and Kyungsoo follows, turning to say, “I’ll bring you a pillow and a blanket.”

Kyungsoo does one more and gives Baekhyun a new toothbrush to use. After he tucks Sehun in, he grabs the extra pillow and blanket he keeps in his own room and goes to the living room to hand it to Baekhyun.

“You’ll be okay here, right?”

“Yeah. Stop worrying, I’m fine.”

“Do you need anything else?”

Baekhyun worries his lower lip. “...Do you have hot chocolate?”

And that’s how they end up on the couch, sipping hot chocolate in silence. Kyungsoo thinks it’s a funny request, though fitting--he hadn’t realized he’d been craving hot chocolate until Baekhyun said it. 

“This isn’t the hot chocolate mix,” Baekhyun says. “It tastes better.”

“It isn’t,” Kyungsoo confirms. He blows on the top of his mug lightly. “You’ve only ever had the instant ones?”

“Yes, and I regret.” They’re quiet for a bit, Kyungsoo just watches the candlelight on the dining room table flicker a way away, and then Baekhyun says, “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“What do you mean?”

“You were really… dead last week. And I felt like you were mad at me earlier today.”

“Oh. I wasn’t.” Kyungsoo kicks his feet out, then decides he’s a little cold and pulls his legs up so he can rest the mug on his knees. “I’m sorry. I just kind of get like that sometimes.”

“Like what?”

Kyungsoo turns his head and peers at Baekhyun, “You’re good.”

“What?”

“I almost,” Kyungsoo stops, scoots closer and pulls the blanket Baekhyun is using over him too. “It’s cold.”

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind. You almost what?”

“I changed my mind. I don’t want to say it anymore.”

“Just say it.”

“No.” Baekhyun stares at him and Kyungsoo sighs. “I almost talked about myself. And that’s a cringey sentence on its own, so I didn’t want to say it. It also gets worse if you ask me to talk anyway, which of course you would. And by saying _that_ it makes it seem like I want you to ask me to talk, so…”

“But don’t you?”

“...Baekhyun…”

“No, I’m serious. You’re right. When you say that, it makes me think you want me to bug you to talk. But why is that such a bad thing for you?”

“Because… it’s dramatic.”

“So?”

“It’s bad. It’s dramatic. It’s just me seeking attention. Me telling you this is also me seeking attention. Sorry, this is getting really bad now. I should really stop.”

“Hey, hey.” Baekhyun’s voice is soothing. Kyungsoo finds that he’s avoiding his gaze, but he can feel that Baekhyun is looking at him, trying to encourage him to look back. “Listen to me. You’re not seeking attention for wanting to talk about something that’s bothering you. And it doesn’t make you a shitty person to want someone to push you to talk. Sometimes, it’s hard to say things, even if we really want to say them. That’s why I’m here. To keep bugging you until you tell me what’s wrong.” Out of the corner of his eye Kyungsoo can see that Baekhyun is smiling. “So? You were going to say something about today.”

Kyungsoo lowers his eyes and brings the mug to his lips to stall. Finally he says, “I just… get like that sometimes. Irritable and moody, I guess. I never really want to do anything when I feel like that. I almost said no to you coming over,” he admits. “Anyway, I’ll get over it. Don’t worry. It’s not a big deal.”

As he’s saying the last part, Baekhyun makes a bunch of sound over him and finally shakes his head. “Erase that last part. It doesn’t matter if you’ll get over it or if it isn’t a big deal. It’s how you feel. That’s all you need to say.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says. “It’s how I feel.”

Baekhyun nods his approval. He thinks for a moment, then asks, “Did anything happen this time? I know you said you ‘get like that,’ but is there a reason why this time? It’s fine if there isn’t one. There doesn’t have to be. Just, if there is, I’m willing to listen to a rant.”

There are a lot of reasons. His job. His parents. His house. The way that everyone seems to be moving forward, becoming successful, while he’s just stuck where he is.

Kyungsoo doesn’t want to say these things. He knows it’s been too long of a pause for a denial to be believed, but he says it anyway. “There is no reason. It’s just how I feel.”

Baekhyun nods again, but this time it’s thoughtful. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Can I?” Kyungsoo laughs; he hadn’t meant to say it out loud, he hadn’t meant to laugh, but it’s too late, now. He says, “Thanks, Baekhyun. I’m going to go to bed now. I’m sorry I ended today on a depressing note.”

“Don’t be. You shouldn’t force yourself to be happy. Especially not with me.”

Especially not with him? Kyungsoo wonders what he means by that. “Today was really nice,” he says. “I wasn’t forcing myself to be happy today. I’m… glad you came.”

“I’m glad I did, too.”

Kyungsoo bites his lip, then stands, lifting the blanket and sliding out from underneath. “Good night, Baekhyun.”

“‘Night, Soo.”

Soo. The nickname brings back a million memories, bittersweet. He’d thought Baekhyun had forgotten it.

Without reacting, Kyungsoo nods and gets ready for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s okay not to feel okay.
> 
> The way that I interpreted Kyungsoo’s That’s Okay is that it’s okay to feel. Happy, sad, none of these need justification. It doesn’t need to make sense. You can feel happy one moment and feel upset the next, and that’s okay. You don’t owe anyone, not even yourself, an explanation. Just feel how you want to feel and let yourself experience the emotion without judgement. 
> 
> It’s okay. It’s okay not to have a reason. It’s okay if you have a reason but you think it’s stupid. 
> 
> I love you guys. Remember that, okay? Until the next chapter ❤️


	9. Chapter 9

Kyungsoo wakes up late, scrambling out of bed and throwing on clothes, a mess. He opens Sehun’s door to find that his room is empty, and then he’s in the kitchen equally stressed until he sees Sehun and Baekhyun by the stove, making what smells like pancakes.

Oh, right. Kyungsoo breathes out and closes his eyes. Sehun’s winter break started... he doesn’t have school.

“Good morn—aw, man. Do you have work? We were making breakfast.” Baekhyun frowns. Sehun tugs at his sleeve to make him turn back around and flip the pancake over.

“No, well, yes. Not this early, though. I forgot Sehun doesn’t have school.”

“Silly,” Sehun makes a face and Kyungsoo laughs, shaking his head.

“I know. Ugh... I want to sleep more.”

“Go ahead,” Baekhyun says. “We can save some pancakes for you.”

“No, I shouldn’t. I’m already up.” Kyungsoo sits at the kitchen table and watches them cook. “Don’t you have anywhere to go right now?”

Baekhyun shrugs. “They didn’t clear the roads, so. But either way, I’m basically free this whole week.”

“Oh. That’s good.”

“You’re still working, huh?” Baekhyun’s expression is sympathetic.

“If the roads clear up in time, yeah…” That reminds him… he still needs his mother to come and watch Sehun while he’s out. He should text her to come early.

As if reading his mind, Baekhyun asks, “Who’s going to stay with Sehun when you’re out at work?”

“My mother.” 

Baekhyun nods. He’s done with the pancakes now, turning to put them on the table. “I could stay with him.”

Sehun gasps just as Kyungsoo is declining, and Kyungsoo already knows he’s lost. “Could you? I can show you my projects in school!”

“Of course I could… if your dad is okay with it.” In unison, the two of them turn to look at Kyungsoo. He glances between the two of them before sighing, defeated.

“Okay. Thank you, Baekhyun.”

The two of them cheer and Kyungsoo smiles in spite of himself, rolling his eyes. He almost feels like he’s the parent of two kids who just want to play around all day. At least they’re happy, though.

“Ooh… can we play in the snow?”

“Well…”

“Please?” Now it’s not just Sehun giving the puppy eyes but Baekhyun, too. 

“Fine.” He stops them before they can celebrate, turning to Baekhyun. “You’re sure it’s okay for you to stay?”

“I could stay for the whole week. Christmas, I’d have to go back--”

“No, you’re not staying on Christmas eve. You should go spend it with your family.”

Baekhyun pouts. “But they went on vacation! I’m all alone on Christmas eve! Please? Can I stay? I wanna hang out with you and Sehun.”

“I wanna play with Mr. Baekhyun, too!”

Wow, it really is like he has two kids now. Kyungsoo relents for the third time in the span of thirty minutes and gets up from the table. “Let me just make a call. You can start eating.” He ignores Baekhyun’s curious gaze and leaves the kitchen to call his mother and tell her she doesn’t have to come over.

“Who’s watching Sehun?”

“A friend.”

“You shouldn’t be dragging outsiders into your family business, Kyungsoo. That’s irresponsible.”

“Sehun likes him. And they both wanted to spend time together.”

“Who is this friend, anyway? Is it Junmyeon again?”

Come on, Kyungsoo. Lie. She won’t know--it’s easier that way.

Who is he kidding? He can’t. “His name is Baekhyun.”

There’s a pause on the other end, and Kyungsoo busies himself looking out the window at the snow. It’s piled high, smooth untouched white blanketing the road. He wonders when they’ll start clearing it up, if they’ll start clearing it up, or if he’ll somehow be absolved of his work shift. 

He’s so caught up in the possibility that he doesn’t realize his mother is talking until he zones back in and hears her lecturing him about saving money on college rather than paying a friend to teach Sehun piano. Ah, right. He’d almost forgotten that she’d met Baekhyun. It’s weird--out of everything, that seems like the one thing that would be impossible to forget.

He finds himself interrupting her with a voice of indifference before he can control it, but then again, he doesn’t really care anymore. He just wants to go back to the kitchen where Sehun and Baekhyun are. This lecturing is a waste of time for him; suddenly, he’s wondering why he ever actually listened.

“Thanks, mom. I’ll talk to you about the weekend schedule.”

“Doh Kyungsoo, if you hang up the phone--”

_Click._

He notes that something about him is changing, but he isn’t sure if it’s good.

~

The week goes by uneventfully.

Uneventful, but comfortable. It feels… right. Baekhyun’s presence is a warm welcome to the wintery weather. It feels like he’s always belonged in every sense of the word, and it makes Kyungsoo think about things, wonder about things… he’s almost scared of how well Baekhyun fits into his life. 

Does Baekhyun feel it, too?

Christmas eve has Baekhyun apologizing left and right for not buying them any gifts, even though Kyungsoo assures him about twenty times that it’s fine. He hadn’t bought Baekhyun a gift, either. They settle on making each other stupid cards at the living room table after dinner, and Kyungsoo feels like he’s five again, drawing on this piece of construction paper cut out like a heart. It’s so ridiculous it makes Kyungsoo want to laugh, but it’s nice, too. It’s been years since he’s allowed himself to do this, just sit down and work on something aimless just for the sake of doing it. And it doesn’t feel useless. It just feels warm.

He’s finishing up his card for Baekhyun when there’s a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it,” Kyungsoo says. He knows who it is; it must be his mother, come to give Sehun his gift or something, but when he gets to the front and sees someone else his blood runs cold. 

_What are you doing here?_

Instead, he just stands there as she smiles and says, “Kyungsoo. It’s been a while… Merry Christmas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys!! I’m sorry for not replying to comments... I’m swamped with work 😓
> 
> But wow, honestly I live for comments like all of yours... it’s interesting to see your take and your response to That’s Okay. In some ways it made me feel like I was being comforted haha. I don’t know... the feeling of being understood and accepted?
> 
> This chapter isn’t exactly what I want it to be, but... I feel like if I fall behind in updates I will fall behind forever and I cannot! Thank you all for your love and support it means so much. Ily guys ❤️❤️❤️❤️
> 
> Until the next chapter!


	10. Chapter 10

When the shock finally wears off and he’s able to move, Kyungsoo steps outside and closes the door lightly behind him, breathing out a puff of cold air. For a moment, he regards her with the silent respect of a stranger, but then he speaks and that withdrawn, measured familiarity returns. “Merry Christmas.”

She nods, gaze moving over his shoulder. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

“I don’t know.” He feels numb. “I know I should. I just don’t know if I want to.”

After a pause, she laughs, realizing that he’s serious. “Wow. You never fail to amaze me. It’s been six years, but I guess you haven’t changed.”

“You, too,” he lies. In reality, she’s so different from the last time he saw her. They were just trainees back then. And now…

So this is what an idol looks like.

He brings up his arms to warm himself, wondering why he hadn’t thought to get a jacket before standing outside for a conversation he’s sure will last a while. Six years. There’s a lot to catch up on, but he knows neither of them are really interested in those formalities. After all, they aren’t even interested in each other. It makes him want to ask why she’s here, but instead he just waits until she decides to tell him on her own.

It doesn’t take her long to get to the point. “My parents want to see Sehun.” He says nothing, so she continues, “I’m taking him to meet them tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.” It’s a statement, not a question, and even Kyungsoo is surprised at how dead his voice sounds.

“Yes.”

The laughter that bubbles out of his mouth startles them both, and it’s another second before Kyungsoo can regain his composure enough to say, “You’re unbelievable. _Six years_ you had to come see him and you choose tomorrow. And you don’t even ask me if I’m okay with it; you just march to my house uninvited and announce you’re taking him away the day before you do. Thanks for the early notice, and all that. Merry fucking whatever to you, too.”

“Look, I didn’t want to do this, either.” She has the audacity to sound annoyed, and it just makes the situation seem even funnier to him. “It’s just for my parents. So stop being such an asshole; we’re in the same boat.”

“I mean, we might have been, if you’d’ve taken care of Sehun with me.”

“Oh, come on.” She scoffs. “Stop acting like the victim. You _chose_ to take him, remember? I said we could put him up for adoption.”

“You know that wasn’t an option.” His voice breaks. “He’s my son.”

“‘Your son,’ huh? That’s cute. Funny of you to pretend like you wanted him any more than I did at first. Don’t act like you’re any better than me.”

He feels like slapping her. “I just don’t understand why the hell you’re here if you really don’t care about him. Just leave. We’re fine without you. And your parents hated him in the first place, so why would they want to see him now?”

“They’ve gotten complacent, I guess. I don’t know, okay? I guess since I’m successful now they’re less stressed about him messing up my career.”

“What about you? Aren’t you worried about it?” _Like you were from the beginning,_ he doesn’t say.

She shakes her head. “Why do you think I’ve never come by until now? Kyungsoo, I’m sorry. Let’s start over. You’re right. It’s an asshole move for me to do this. I promise it wasn’t my intention to make this suck so much. But my parents really want to see him tomorrow. I’ll bring Sehun back the next day and then I’ll be gone. Okay?”

Kyungsoo knows what he’s feeling now. It’s ugly and he can’t control it. “You really--” Fuck, he’s shivering. “--got everything you ever wanted.”

“What?”

Fame. Fortune. Opportunity, the chance to sing and be heard. She left Sehun for it all, left Kyungsoo to abandon his dream, that same dream, to instead become a father, and now she’s gotten what she wanted and has come back for the one thing Kyungsoo ever managed to get right.

It’s amazing, almost. He never knew regret like this existed until now. Hell, he never knew _hate_ like this existed until now, standing in the freezing cold, hating himself for regretting choosing Sehun over his dream.

And in front of him is an idol. Son Seungwan, who had told him she didn’t want their child, and who is now in front of him asking to take him back.

He doesn’t care if it’s only for a day. For him, it’s too long.

The realization that enters her expression only makes him feel worse, and she reaches out in pity. “Kyungsoo, I’m sorry, I--”

“Don’t touch me--”

“--Is everything okay?” The two of them look behind him, to where the door opens and Baekhyun steps out. He’s looking at Kyungsoo worriedly, putting a hand on his arm. “Hey, what are you doing out here? It’s freezing.”

Kyungsoo just looks at him without response, and maybe he sees something in his eyes, because Baekhyun doesn’t press and instead takes off his jacket, sliding it around Kyungsoo’s shoulders. Kyungsoo doesn’t turn back around to look at her. He just closes his eyes and takes in a shaking breath, not caring that Baekhyun is watching him with concern. 

“I was going to meet Sehun before tomorrow,” Seungwan says, breaking the silence, “that’s why I came here. But I think I’ll just stop by early instead. Okay?”

“Fine,” Kyungsoo answers.

She sounds sad, suddenly. “Good night, Kyungsoo.”

“Yeah.”

It is a long moment before he hears her walk away, and it’s just Baekhyun and Kyungsoo alone.

Kyungsoo rubs at his forehead, willing the tension away. He can’t cry here. Not here, not now. After a second he breathes, “Can you do me a favor?”

“What is it?”

“Can you watch Sehun for a bit? I’m going to go for a walk.”

Baekhyun grips his arm, making Kyungsoo look at him. “Don’t go. Just come inside.” When Kyungsoo doesn’t react, Baekhyun sighs. “Sehun is worried. You were out for a while. Come back for him.”

“I can’t.”

“Kyungsoo--”

“_I can’t._” His voice is bordering on whining, now. “Baekhyun, you don’t understand. I just can’t. Right now,” his voice cracks, “I need to be alone.”

He can’t see his son. Not like this. Not when the guilt is so heavy in his stomach. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

“Okay. Okay, fine. I’ll stay here. Please be careful.”

Kyungsoo nods and leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You won’t believe me but I wrote this five different times and I’m still unsatisfied.
> 
> Alas. ALAS. (Also procrastination is a real issue save me)
> 
> Some of your comments cracked me up XD thank you guys ily until the next chapter!!!


	11. Chapter 11

When he comes back, wrapped in Baekhyun’s jacket but still chattering from the cold, Baekhyun is asleep on the couch, cheek pressed into his hand. The Christmas tree lights are still on, illuminating his face gently with an orange hue, and his eyelashes flutter a bit; he must be dreaming.

Kyungsoo sighs and closes the door quietly, rubbing at his eyes. 

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says softly after he makes his way over, kneeling in front of him. Baekhyun’s eyes open blearily. 

“Hey,” his voice is hoarse. “You’re back.”

“Yeah. Thanks for watching Sehun for me.”

Baekhyun nods, shifting so he’s sitting up, still sleepy. “Are you okay now?”

“Mhm. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.” Kyungsoo slips off his jacket, “You should go home. It’s late.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Come on, Baekhyun. It’s Christmas, remember? You have somewhere to be.” Baekhyun’s gaze doesn’t leave his face, and Kyungsoo’s expression softens. He smiles for him. “Don’t worry. Rest up at home so you can have fun with your family in the morning.”

He doesn’t think Baekhyun is listening to him, and his suspicions are confirmed when he doesn’t react to his words but reaches over and envelopes him in a hug instead, startling him. He says it as if Kyungsoo hadn’t just said he was fine, “Soo. It’ll be okay.”

And it hurts a little, how nice Baekhyun is. Because he’s becoming yet another thing Kyungsoo doesn’t deserve, and Kyungsoo _knows_ this, but it’s warm in his arms, and so Kyungsoo breathes in and closes his eyes, nodding against Baekhyun’s shoulder. Baekhyun smells like cookies, like the remnants of soap, like something comforting. Home, maybe. Kyungsoo feels like he’s home. _It’ll be okay,_ Kyungsoo answers, “I know.”

It feels like forever has passed when Baekhyun finally lets go, standing. Kyungsoo hands him his jacket. “I put Sehun to bed, if you were wondering.”

“I figured. Thanks.”

“Mm.” Baekhyun chews on his bottom lip. “If you need me tomorrow--I mean, today--”

“You’re going to be at a family party, Baekhyun.”

“I don’t care. Just, if you need me. Call. Or text. It’s not a bother, I swear. I want you to lean on me when you need it.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says. Baekhyun frowns. “Have fun tomorrow.”

“Okay. Good night, Soo.”

“Night, Baekhyun.”

When Kyungsoo goes to sleep, he’ll think about Baekhyun’s expression, and how it seemed like he genuinely didn’t want to go.

\--

The next morning, Kyungsoo and Sehun open presents together, and then they eat breakfast and watch some Christmas movies as per tradition. He knows he should be thinking about Seungwan, but he can’t, not when it’s Christmas and she hasn’t arrived yet. It takes two movies for Kyungsoo to finally relent and say something to Sehun as he watches him look through the dvds they have for the next film.

“Sehun…” Kyungsoo doesn’t know how he can ask this. “Do you want to go with mommy to a party today?”

‘Mommy.’ The word is unfamiliar, and uncomfortable for him to say. Sehun blinks at him. “But I thought she was busy.”

Looking at his son, Kyungsoo realizes that he truly is a terrible parent. He’s been lying to Sehun all this time, that Seungwan hasn’t shown up because she’s busy, when in reality she just doesn’t care enough to come. Birthdays, holidays… he’s only six, and yet Sehun has already learned to stop asking for his mother. 

“She’s usually busy,” Kyungsoo finally manages. “But this time she wanted to meet you, so she cleared up her schedule for you. What do you think?”

Sehun purses his lips, fidgeting with the dvd case he’s holding. “Are you coming?”

Oh. “No, I’m not. But she’s very nice, Sehun. I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun with her.”

“I don’t want to,” Sehun says. “Why aren’t you coming?”

“Because…” Kyungsoo sees the tears beginning to form in Sehun’s eyes and he rushes forward. “Oh, no, Sehun, shh… why are you crying? What’s wrong?”

“I want you to come.”

“I can’t, Sehun. I’m sorry. She just wants to spend time with you.” 

Sehun sniffles, pressing his face against Kyungsoo’s chest. “Daddy?” Kyungsoo hums. “Does mommy love me?”

Kyungsoo takes a breath in. “Yes,” he lies. “Yes, she loves you.”

Seungwan shows up an hour later at their door with a present for Sehun, all smiles and excitement, and Sehun hesitantly goes to meet her. Kyungsoo stands behind and tries his best to look happy, for Sehun’s sake. 

“Bye, daddy.” Sehun hugs him tight and Kyungsoo kisses the top of his head.

“Have fun, okay?”

“Okay.”

Kyungsoo and Seungwan walk outside together and stand outside of the car after Kyungsoo buckles Sehun into his car seat. “Thank you again,” Seungwan says. He feels a surge of disgust, and although he directs it towards her, he isn’t quite sure who the feeling is really for.

“Don’t.” He doesn’t want to hear it. “Just, if you do anything to make him sad… He thinks you love him.” Wow, he can’t believe how much that sentence hurts, for some reason. “Please don’t prove him wrong.”

She nods. “I won’t. For the record, I know my opinion doesn’t matter, but--”

“It doesn’t.”

“--You’re a good father.” She leaves it at that, and then they are parting ways, Kyungsoo waving goodbye to Sehun in a way that makes him feel like they’re going to be apart forever, it hurts that bad. He returns to his empty house and sits on the floor with his back against the couch, staring at the Christmas tree. 

He wishes she hadn’t said that. That he was a good father. Because if it means nothing when someone else says it to him, it means even less from her. He knows he’s far from good enough, and it just makes it worse when someone tries to tell him otherwise.

He shouldn’t have let Sehun go.

Kyungsoo hugs his knees to his chest and leans his head forward. He feels pathetic, alone in his living room, but for some reason suddenly everything is hurting, and he can’t find the energy to move other than to choke on a sob he didn’t even know was there.

Kyungsoo doesn’t want to fall apart but he isn’t sure he can stop it this time. Again he finds himself trying to rub the tension away from his forehead as he stands, going to his room to lie on the bed under the sheets in the dark. He tries to fall asleep, closes his eyes and evens out his breathing, but he knows it’s all for show because he can’t.

He keeps wanting to call Baekhyun.

It’s a sudden realization that, despite everything, still manages to catch him off-guard. He wants to pick up the phone and dial Baekhyun’s number, and hear his voice. He wants him to come over. He wants to be selfish and ask him to stay. He’s lonely. He’s lonely, and he’s reaching for the phone before he can stop himself, or before he can want to stop himself, and he’s a liar who’s telling himself that this is some subconscious movement he can’t control.

He lifts the phone to his ear and waits.

After the third ring, Baekhyun picks up.

There’s laughter in the background at first, and Kyungsoo listens to Baekhyun finish whatever conversation he’d been having before he says, “Hey, Soo! Merry Christmas! Everything okay? Why’d you call?”

“Um.” Hearing Baekhyun’s voice, it’s suddenly hard to breathe. Kyungsoo wants to back out. He can’t do this. It’s too self-centered. Baekhyun’s at a party--why did he think this was a good idea? He means to say, _Merry Christmas,_ and then hang up, but instead what comes out of his mouth is: “I wanted to hear your voice.”

“Oh, uh…” Baekhun laughs sheepishly, and Kyungsoo curses inwardly for making it awkward. “Well, here it is. Hi.”

“Hi. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” He pauses. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You sound weird. Maybe I’m overthinking it. But, like. Is anything wrong?”

“No,” Kyungsoo says. “I just kind of wanted to talk.”

“Oh, okay. What about?” He can hear Baekhyun moving to a quieter room and the sound of a door clicking shut. Now, the background noise is muffled. 

“I don’t know. Tell me something.”

He knows it’s obvious now, that something is off, but to Baekhyun’s credit he doesn’t say anything, only hums in thought. “Well, I ate breakfast with my parents today. My brother’s here. It’s nice because I don’t really see him that often anymore, since he’s busy with his job and I’m busy too.”

“That’s good,” Kyungsoo says. He means it. He understands how it feels to not be able to talk to a sibling you’re close to because life gets in the way. “You and your brother are really close, right? I remember you telling me about him back in high school.”

Baekhyun laughs; it’s a sweet sound that instantly makes Kyungsoo feel better. “You remember that? Yeah, we used to be really close back then. I wouldn’t say we’re not close now, but it’s just not the same since we barely see each other.”

“Yeah, I get it. That must be hard.”

“It’s okay. It just means that when I see him it’s even more special.”

Kyungsoo wishes he had Baekhyun’s optimism. He bites his lip. “Speaking of… I should let you go now. You probably have a lot of catching up to do. Merry Christmas, Baek.”

“Wait! Um. Would it be okay if I stopped by later tonight?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know either. You’re just kind of worrying me.”

He can’t help but smile at that in a sort of sighing way. “Didn’t I tell you not to worry?”

“Well, then stop making me worry.” Then, “So? Can I?”

“If-If you want, sure?”

“Good. Then, I’ll see you later, Soo.”

“Yeah.”

_Click._

Kyungsoo puts down the phone and tries to go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would it be weird if I made bloopers lol there are so many alternate scenarios and it just feels like such a shame that no one will ever read them ;;
> 
> I’m running on three hours of sleep and it is WOO
> 
> Ily guys mkay see you in the next chapter wsjkqhdiadksbdks I need to study 😭😭😭


End file.
